/A Valentine’s Day pondering

A Valentine’s Day pondering

by Thomas Smith

I am a hopeless romantic.

Some may call me a sucker that falls for clever marketing.

Jewelry, chocolates, flowers, cards.

Do I get one of everything, or will they want one of each?

My Instagram feed shows me all these celebrities that are eating at these fancy restaurants in the big city with cloth napkins.

But is that really our style? Would I really feel comfortable in a fancy schmancy place like that?

For this dilemma, I would like to take this time to thank Geoffrey Chaucer, who, in 1382 published Parlement of Foules which connected the idea of Valentine’s Day with those in love.

In my interview with Lawrence and Maria Van Lieshout this past week, Maria said that trust is the most important quality to look for in a partner.

I concur.

Trust, to me, penetrates throughout all aspects of a relationship.

I trust in my partner that they will tell me anything that is bothering them, even if I am the root of the issue.

I trust that they will be safe in their day-to-day life and come home to keep me warm at night.

I trust that our son (he’s a gecko) is well fed, safe, and reassured that we both love him very much, even if he doesn’t speak English, is cold blooded, and nocturnal.

Without trust, I truly do not think a relationship could last. Perhaps it is my anxious brain, but the what-ifs would be too great for me to handle if I did not have complete trust in a partner.

Luckily for my bank account, my partner’s love language is not gift-giving, but quality time.

This is a pretty sweet deal. I just have to hang out with my best friend and they will love me for it? I’m in!

As a Gen Z-er, the stereotypical joke of referring to your closest partner as your ‘old ball and chain’ is something very foreign to me.

However, it seems as though relationships in general have changed throughout the years.

The highest divorce rate in Canada was in 1987 and the rate is steadily decreasing.

From what I have learned from my own family’s relationships, many marriages in the past were about survival. Without a husband and kids, you would be considered a failure.

That being said, there are less and less marriages today.

Is it the economy, or are people uglier nowadays?

With changing social acceptance of common law partnerships, I think that the younger generations of Canadians do not see a clear reason to get married. Especially with some venues costing over $40,000 to rent as wedding venues. I know that my partner and I have not gotten engaged simply because we cannot afford it as recent graduates.

With that all being said, I am still taking my special sweetheart out to dinner ( I am also going to buy chocolates but SHHHhh keep that a secret). Nothing fancy schmancy, but a restaurant that I know they will love.

Treat yourself and your partner the way you both deserve to be treated. Cater to their love language, buy them something if you know they’ll love it and you have the coinage to spare.

Or just simply, tell someone (perhaps even a friend) that you love them.

Happy Valentine’s day!